Patti's random noise

Seattle Erotic Art Festival

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:53:33 -0700

This weekend is the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. I will be showing two of my photos from the Rope:Burn series-- Come Again, and More Please? I will also be attending the show, and will have several pieces of erotic fine art photography for sale in the festival store.

It promises to be a fantastic event, and I'm proud to be a part of it. If you're near Seattle this weekend, come by and check it out!

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How did I get here?

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 23:03:31 -0800

One of the common conversational themes among some of my friends lately has been how different our lives are than what we'd expected. "If you'd told me when I was 18 that I would be (....), I never would have believed you."

Tell 18-year-old me that I'd grow up to be an engineer, and I wouldn't have batted an eye. It wasn't first on my list-- I was planning to be a nuclear physicist-- but engineer was certainly plausible. Tell me I'd live in San Francisco? I might believe it, but probably not. Weirdos and hippies lived in San Francisco.

Tell me I'd have pink hair? I would have laughed in your face.

I would have never believed that I would have long-term stable relationships with multiple boyfriends at the same time. No way no how. We won't even mention the girls... I was sure I was straight when I was 18-- I liked men well enough, and the word bisexual wasn't even on my radar. "You'll fall in love with a professional dominatrix" fails on at least three counts.

I have no idea what I would have thought if you'd told me that I would be a professional gambler. I was 19 when I played in my first poker tournament, so that one wasn't completely implausible.

I would have never in a million years believed that I would grow up to become a bondage photographer... no way, no how, no sirree. I was a nice girl from St. Louis, and nice midwestern girls just didn't do things like that. We married nice men, moved to three-bedroom two-bath houses in the suburbs, had two kids and a dog, and did the things that society expected us to. We played it safe.

Mmmm hmmm, that's me.

Tonight I find myself sorting through some of the 13,000 bondage photos I've taken in the last couple of years, trying to choose the final three for submission to an art show.

"Hey teenage Patti: when you grow up, you'll spend a couple of days worried about whether you're too extreme for the Kinsey Institute."

And I still can't decide whether to send the safe one or the edgy one.

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The funniest thing ever said on television

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:14:19 -0800

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Republicans bite!

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 15:35:00 -0800

Republican bites journalist at White House today:

Barney bites reporter

The stills at the end are the best part.

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Palin song

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 12:54:21 -0700

The best take I've seen yet on a Palin speech:

palin song

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VoyeuriS/M show in San Francisco

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 00:35:02 -0700

Warning: adult subject matter

As some of you know, several photos from my Rope:Burn series are being exhibited at Stormy Leather in San Francisco. It is a group show, and I am pleased and humbled to be sharing the walls with some of the most talented and respected artists in the genre-- Michael Rosen, David Steinberg, Jim Duvall, and Lochai.

I have been documenting Mike West's outstanding Rope:Burn underground bondage cabaret shows for two years, and this exhibition is the first time the images are being displayed publicly. They are some of my best work, and I am thrilled to have the opportunity to share them with the world.

I would be delighted if you would come down and take a look. The gallery is open from noon to 7 p.m. seven days a week, and is located downstairs in Stormy Leather's store at 1158 Howard in San Francisco. Admission is free, and the show runs through November 29. The official reception will be held on Friday, October 17, and it promises to be an exciting evening-- rumor has it that Mr. West and his lovely models will be performing.

Here's the official announcement:

On October 17th come join us for a decadent evening of voyeuristic debauchery with the opening reception of our latest and greatest art exhibit VoyeuriS/M. Are you an engaged spectator? Do you want to be the peeping Tom for a night? Does the idea of peering through a window of an unsuspecting beauty painting her face in the tiniest of panties excite you? If so, then you should come out to our infamous dungeon for a glorious night of art, refreshments and overall arousal. With local artists displaying their beautiful work, and live acts of undeniable voyeuristic pleasure the crew here at Stormy Leather guarantee you an amazing experience, and a night to go down in your book of hedonistic encounters.

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From RHF

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 01:48:38 -0700

From rec.humor.funny (yes, I still read Usenet):

"I used a WaMu ATM today and it asked to borrow $20 till Friday."

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Les Misbarack

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:53:13 -0700

This tickles the theater geek in me to no end.

Les Misbarack

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Best Date Ever

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:34:35 -0700

Ingredients:

Whole medjool dates
Goat cheese
Bacon

Remove pits from dates and cut each one in half lengthwise. Cut bacon strips in thirds. Stuff each date-half with a little bit of goat cheese, fold in half lengthwise, wrap with a piece of bacon, and secure with a toothpick.

Bake in a 475 degre oven for 5-7 minutes until things are starting to get crisp. Remove from oven, turn the dates over, and then bake for another 5-7 minutes or until the bacon is crisp. This happens pretty slowly in my oven.

I've seen lots of variations on this-- the Epicurious recipe uses parmesan and whole dates, but I found that didn't work very well. Parmesan is too salty, whole dates are too sweet, and 10 minutes was wildly insufficient. I've also had a version that uses smaller dates and stuffs them with chorizo.

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Photographic Silliness

nobody@vox.com(Patti) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:48:54 -0700

There was a perfectly good reason for doing this, and yet it is utter silliness. I had a lot of fun doing it, and only later realized that I'd left thousands of dollars worth of camera equipment hanging from my ceiling for several hours.

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